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Dear Moshjokii,

Of late,
I've been thinking that
so far
I have loved two people.

And you were the first.

Your part on here has not exactly been
prominent but
I can see where your
influence lies.

Your hair was longer back then (like
a fiery-headed lion) and
mine was still black. I
still had braces

and we used MSN.

Years later, "You kinda picked
the wrong person to be with after your
ex. I mean well but
I screw up," she said

'cause she got screwed
over back
when she was young,
impressionable.

Weirdly though, I've
forgiven you. I don't feel

dirty,
worthless
or heartless

these days. I don't

hate,
miss
or judge you

any more.

Unfortunately, I still cannot trust people and
I still have the eyes of an adulterer.

Like I said, I was
impressionable at fifteen. 'Tis why I still
adore Frank Turner.

'Tis funny that you do too.

I remember "St Christopher Is Coming Home
reminds me of
you." Why?

"And I miss you,
You're busy too.
We call each other up
When we're messed up
And say we'll meet in the New Year.
But it's perfectly clear
We'll do no such thing
Come the spring." Oh.

And now we're kinda friends? You

of all people

gave me advice about Art Boy when
I was feeling sad on the
train home.

"Keep smiling. It'll

hurt
like
hell

but you've got to keep smiling."

And y'know what? I
did.

How have you helped me grow? You
weakened me for
you, then taught me to
grieve. You are my
proof that I can

walk away when I
can't take any more. You

sealed off my heart from
those who only wanted to love
me and

I mistrusted those who I
wanted to love.

Love and pain hand in
hand, I guess. But also

you are the first that
I truly let go. When I
think of you I breathe
clean air.